What can make a good parent?
A great parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also their intention.
A great parent doesn't need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. But it does not mean that we should not work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first our children next. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
You will be a much better parent, in case you stick to these 10 strategies for parenting tips, and you'll stay away from bad parenting.
They are not all that easy or quick.
And possibly nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be able to move forward using the suggestions in this parenting guidebook.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There's no such thing as loving your child a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over protection. When these items are given in place of real love, that is when you will have a spoiled child.
To love the child of yours may be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Drive with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to learn for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to the needs of theirs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents who are constantly responsive have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a much better connection with the child of yours and your child will come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood may wish to alter several elements of the way they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of just how you would do it differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Do not give up in case you do not succeed at first. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Pay attention to your own well being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Don't hesitate to request parenting help. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, also.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, for some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The kid will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to the kid that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting along with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also more apt to lead Parentinghowto to delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent-child human relationships, mental health problems, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
You will find an assortment of more effective alternatives to discipline that have been proven to be much more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in increasing a kid?
When you are like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, instead of helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate your life, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a kid and info which are supported by science, here is one of my personal favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting methods you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you are able to additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!